“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12). With this commandment, there is a shift of emphasis from the preceding commandments. There is less direct emphasis on man’s relationship with God, and more on man’s relationship with man. This commandment is foundational for both children and adults, stressing the importance of learning authority, which must begin in the home. Without proper respect for parents and their authority in the home, there will not be proper respect for God and His authority. 

The root meaning of the word honor [honour KJV], in the original language, is “to be heavy, or burdensome.” It is a burden for those receiving the honor to bear it properly, as well as for the giver of honor to give it as it should be given. Parents have responsibility and authority to teach their children about God. This should not be a matter of conceit for the parents, however, but should be a matter of grave concern. Parents should carefully consider what they teach their children, and ask them to do, because the ultimate authority always remains with God. Children should never be asked or expected to do that which is contrary to God’s will. As the apostles said before the authorities, “We ought to obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). 

Parents should be recognized as a gift to us. Children should be thankful for the gift of life through their parents, and all of the good things done by parents for children. Parents deserve loyalty, even when they are less than perfect (we know that only God is perfect). Along with that loyalty and gratitude children give to parents, they also should show their love and concern. Although it might be technically possible for children to honor their parents without loving them, it is certainly not God’s ideal. God loves and cares for His children, and often expresses that through parents. Authority without love often destroys. As Paul said, “Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Honor and love go hand in hand. Jesus said, “If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him” (John 14:23). 

Paul speaks of this commandment, saying, “Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise” (Ephesians 6:2). This commandment offers a promise of blessing. The well being of any nation rests on the well being of the home. If things are right in the home, they will be right in the nation. Home life has incredibly far reaching results. The nation that neglects the home is headed for trouble. 

Jesus modeled obedience to the Heavenly Father, and added richness to our understanding by stressing the love of God as Father. Many of the religious leaders of the day tried to get around their obligations to their parents, but Jesus stressed how important the family is, warning them that their neglect of their parents was “making the word of God of none effect” (Mark 7 :9-13). “A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother” (Proverbs 15:20).