Solomon said, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). These words bring comfort to many parents who understand that the difficult task of parenting will  be rewarded by faithful children, but there are many parents who are filled with guilt and anguish because their children have gone astray, despite their best efforts. Solomon’s words are simple enough, but they just don’t always seem to come true! All too often godly men and women try with all of their ability to be good parents, but still fail. But it must be understood that Proverbs 22:6 is a proverb, not a promise. A proverb is a general statement of a rule, which may have exceptions. Those “exceptions to the rule” cause heartache.  

Implied in “train up a child in the way he should go” are the concepts of providing real training, and knowing “the way he should go.” Sadly, many parents have no concept of “training up a child.” They do little or nothing to provide the necessary spiritual food their children need.  While they may demand that the church train their children spiritually, they see no need to do this themselves as parents. The word here translated as “train up” is used elsewhere in scripture to mean dedicating something or someone to God’s service, as in 1 Kings 8:63, where “the king and all the children of Israel dedicated the house of the LORD.” Thus Solomon urges all parents to dedicate and train their children for service.

“In the way he should go” literally means “according to his way.” That is, the training or dedication of the child should be according to his natural personal inclination, abilities, age, and qualifications. The idea of “the way he should go” is not so much the way the parent wants him to go, but the way the child should go so as to maximize his talents in service to God. To actually know “the way he should go” implies that the parent will spend a great deal of time learning the needs, desires, and capabilities of the child. To fulfill the proverb requires tremendous commitment.

That investment of the time, energy, and knowledge necessary for each child is worthwhile, though, because “when he is old, he will not depart from it.” The parent who has made the proper investment of training up the child in the way he should go will know that the child has been properly prepared to live wisely before God.

But what about the child who strays. Have the parents failed? Sadly, many times parents do fail. But just as often, the child that goes astray does so because he exercises his own free will to disobey. Many godly men and women, such as the prophet Samuel, lost their children because their children chose to follow the way of the world.