There is no doubt that if we are to be pleasing to God, we must forgive. As Jesus gave the model prayer to the disciples, he told them to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” He then explained, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:12, 14-15). We cannot expect God to forgive us unless we are willing to forgive others. The question is, however, do we have to forgive and forget?

We cannot find the exact phrase “forgive and forget” in scripture, but the principle of forgiving and forgetting is certainly there, because this is the way God forgives. Speaking of the coming Christian age, the prophet Jeremiah gave the Lord’s promise, “I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more” (Jeremiah 31:34). David described God’s forgiveness of sin: “As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). God forgives penitent sinners completely and absolutely, and “will remember their sin no more.” But is “remember no more” the same as to “forget absolutely”? When God says he will “remember no more,” He is not saying that He cannot have any knowledge of forgiven sins, but that He has willed to no longer call to mind, or recall those sins. Where those sins are recorded in the great book of the works of men (Revelation 20:12), God has written “forgiven.” 

If we are to “forgive and forget” as God does, then we will determine that we will no longer bring to mind those wrongs that we have forgiven. The nineteenth century preacher Henry Ward Beecher said, “To say ‘I can forgive, but I can’t forget,’ is really to say, ‘I cannot forgive.’” Painful memories of what others have done to us often linger, because of the consequences of sin. When a painful memory of a forgiven wrong surfaces in one’s mind, however, if he has really “forgiven and forgotten,” he will not allow himself to bring it to mind. It is much easier to carry a grudge, or wallow in self-pity, rather than forgiving and forgetting, but we cannot do this and be pleasing to God.

Many have discovered that a good “forgettery” may be as valuable as a good memory. Forgiving as God wants us to is an act of the will. It is not easy, but time heals many injuries when we have forgiven and forgotten as God wants us to. One of the greatest tragedies of life is to see people who hold a grudge against one another, and will not forgive. Some even forget what they disagreed over, but will not forgive. Those who will not forgive will find that God cannot forgive them.

  As Jesus hung on the cross, the words “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34), were continually on His lips. If he could forgive even those who crucified Him, surely His followers today can be forgiving people.